The Dubmest Girl Ever

Written: Feb 22, 2003

Originally Titled: Recent Downtime / My adventures with some group that began with an A and ended with a hard K, like APEX, KPAX, ARAC, or something like that


A computer program designed to insult people is sure to make some people angry, I knew that from the start. My Eliza chatbot (MonkeyLogo) is written just like an old psychiatrist program, but I changed all the responses to insulting comments. It would be foolish of me to think that everyone who chats with it will get the joke, so I expect some people to get angry. Fortunately, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) has a block feature that people can use that will prevent further conversations.

In this case, blocking MonkeyLogo will prevent him from sending you any more messages. If an insult-bot makes you angry, this is the best solution because then he can no longer make fun of you. His messages get blocked by AOL, so there is nothing that I or anyone else can do about it.

The past week, several people have decided that this program is just too clever to be a bot, and must be a person named Suspect_ 2. I've determined that they must have set buddy alerts on the bot, because they are sending it messages mere minutes after I sign it online. Every time, they warn it up to 100% so that it gets kicked off. These people get very angry when MonkeyLogo signs online. That's right, these people sit around their rooms waiting for my computerized bot to sign online so they can be insulted and get mad all over again.

I've blocked a few of these people, but they keep coming. They sign on with new names just to get insulted and angry at a computer program. Instead of blocking him, these people are going out of their way to get insulted. Apparently they've been giving the screenname out to their friends too, because it's just too darn clever to be a bot.

Before I knew what they were doing, I signed on as MonkeyLogo myself to see why he couldn't sign on. I had a conversation with one of them, and these people were so angry that I tried to set them straight. It was difficult; I can't send many messages because they warn almost every response. It's a conversation of their threats and my explanations. In the end, they still don't seem to understand..

I have formatted the information below, and have changed names and affiliations per reques (Hence the title not being very specific, the the previous person named Suspect_ 2)
From this point forward, I will refer to their Suspect_s as "Suspect_ 1," "Suspect_ 2," the apparent supervisor as "Supervisor," and to the group as "KPAX." Like the Kevin Spacey movie that wasn't in theaters for very long. I changed the girl's screenname to Fifi too (a variant of the actual name).

** It should be noted that the people involved in this incident do not represent their full group. I have chatted online with both Suspects, and they inform me that it's mostly one crazy girl with too much time on her hands. **


Session Start (AIM - monkeylogo:Fifi): Fri Feb 21 15:28:42 2003
[15:28] Fifi: Hi
[15:29] *** monkeylogo wants to directly connect.
[15:29] *** Fifi declines request; no connection was made.

**I was online with two screennames, and I was clicking buttons to see which one she was IMing. I accidently hit Direct Connect
She denies the request, this will become important later. By the way, I was warned here.**

[15:29] Fifi: don't ever send me that
[15:29] Fifi: thing
[15:30] Fifi: what is your name?
[15:31] Fifi: Why you warning me?
[15:32] Fifi: u bastard
[15:33] MonkeyLogo: sorry, my bot has been getting warned by keri2383, and I figured you were her on a different name. I'm trying to explain to her that MonkeyLogo is just a bot, but she insists that it's usually a real person

**Warned
I suppose I'm glad that I didn't express my relief that this was a different person, and say that I think keri2383 is dumb as rocks**

[15:33] Fifi: lol
[15:34] Fifi: talk 2 me
[15:34] Fifi: hi
[15:34] Fifi: hello?
[15:37] Fifi: y rn't u talking?
[15:39] MonkeyLogo: Main reason is the warnings that people keep giving. (I bet I know how this is going to end)

**Warned
I was right, it ended the exact way I expected**

Session Close (Fifi): Fri Feb 21 15:41:12 2003



Session Start (AIM - monkeylogo:Fifi): Fri Feb 21 15:45:48 2003
[15:45] Fifi: so what is your name?
[15:47] Fifi: Hello?
[15:48] Fifi: Hi?
[15:48] Fifi: r u there?
[15:48] MonkeyLogo: Who are you people?

**I wanted to know who these people were. They're going out of their way to get offended by my bot, and are preventing it from going online**

[15:48] Fifi: People from KPAX
[15:49] Fifi: what you are in also
[15:49] Fifi: First of all you went about iming every damn person from KPAX..and think that its funny
[15:49] Fifi: Suspect_ 1
[15:49] Fifi: Suspect_Last_Name
[15:50] Fifi: thats uncalled for
[15:50] Fifi: very mean
[15:50] Fifi: President such as yourself do such a thing
[15:50] Fifi: glad your graduating
[15:51] MonkeyLogo: I don't know what KPAX is, unless it's the Australian Partnership for Advanced Computing ((Link: http://150.203.56.16/)http://150.203.56.16/) I don't know who you people are. MonkeyLogo is a computer program, and there's a trigger people can use to make it send messages to other AIM users

**I changed the text in the link above, because of name stuff, but the point is the same
I did a google search for KPAX and that's what came up. I've since learned that KPAX means the LINK AND NAME REMOVED with my query at google.com/ilstu.
      If the group thinks that a girl would find it amusing to insult all of them for hours, why would they elect her to be their president? Whatever the reason, they all think that MonkeyLogo is really this girl named Suspect_ 1 (later they Suspect_ a guy named Suspect_ 2). **


[15:51] Fifi: yeah a computer program that warns people and JUST SO HAPPENS TO IM EVERYONE I KNOW ALSO
[15:52] Fifi: what the possiblity of that occurring? -100%
[15:53] Fifi: y r u so damn dumb...it doesn't what u say for now...I and the rest of the people u imed from KPAX knows that its u Suspect_ 1 Suspect_Last_Name & Suspect_ 2 Suspect_Last_Name
[15:53] Fifi: *matter
[15:53] Fifi: rn't u ashamed of urself
[15:53] Fifi: for what u have done
[15:54] Fifi: as a president
[15:54] Fifi: of KPAX

**See my previous point about electing this girl as president of your club. Why would they elect her if they think she's so untrustworthy? As far as it IMing everyone they know, I have nothing to do with that.**

[15:54] Fifi: i might have to let Supervisor know about this
[15:54] MonkeyLogo: All right, I will state this again. I wrote a bot to sit on AIM. People can make it send messages to other users. I don't look at what goes on with it. I only started signing on (hence the warnings and non-babble talk) because it couldn't connect to AIM. I was wondering why, and I've found out. I don't know anyone named Suspect_ 2
[15:55] Fifi: b/c i got ur ip and address

**I really don't know anyone named Suspect_ 2. I've seen Suspect_ 2 Anderson on TV, but I don't know him. And no, you don't have my IP address. The only way you could have gotten it is if you had accepted the Direct Connect I accidently hit in the beginning. She might have the ones for Suspect_ 1 and Suspect_ 2, I don't know. All I want to do is to convince her that MonkeyLogo is just a program and doesn't have any connections to anyone. It's nothing personal.**

[15:55] Fifi: Suspect_ 1 Suspect_Last_Name
[15:55] Fifi: Suspect_ 2 Suspect_Last_Name
[15:55] Fifi: i know where ur located
[15:55] Fifi: what college ur at

** I don't know if Suspect_Last_Name is their last name or if it's an abbreviation for the college they're at. I assume she's talking to me, but this is hard since I'm not who she thinks I am, and we don't know each other.**

[15:55] Fifi: same as me
[15:55] Fifi: of course
[15:56] Fifi: well good going
[15:56] MonkeyLogo: I don't know anyone named Suspect_ 2, and could you please send me the IP address?
[15:56] Fifi: u'll be lucky if u don't get punched
[15:56] Fifi: or hit by people
[15:56] Fifi: b/c u deserve it
[15:56] Fifi: soo bad
[15:56] Fifi: don't even try now
[15:57] Fifi: I will send all evidence to Supervisor
[15:57] Fifi: that all points to u
[15:57] Fifi: exactly to who i thought it was
[15:57] Fifi: u can forget about everything now honey
[15:57] MonkeyLogo: This bot isn't personal, it insults everyone who IMs it. An incoming IM creates an outgoing IM. There is no person signed on under this name (aside from right now)
[15:58] Fifi: NO MORE OF UR BULLSHIT SAVE IT FOR Supervisor
[15:59] Fifi: I AM GLAD UR A COMPUTER GENIUS BUT I AM A COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR AND I KNOW EVERYTHING SO STOP IT BE4 I GET MORE ANGRY
[15:59] Fifi: I CAN FIND OUT ANYTHING THROUGH THE COMPUTER..ALL CODES I KNOW...SO SAVE UR BREATH

**Who is Supervisor? Maybe Suspect_ 1 and Suspect_ 2 should be concerned, but I don't really care.
Apparently I am rude when I explain computer topics, because this isn't the first time I've been insultingly called a "Computer Genius." I don't try to be arrogant, condescending, or a know-it-all. I am telling her the truth. Her comment about knowing all codes almost made me link her to CPAN's AOL::TOC and Chatbot::Eliza modules and send her the code so she could see what was going on. Before I do, I realize that this idea would accomplish nothing. She would probably think it was some sort of trick.

At this point, I can't help but think of the movie "The Net" with Sandra Bullock. Anyone who has seen this and knows anything about networks will probably see the connection. Maybe I clicked the Pi on my computer.**

[16:00] Fifi: ur dumb to even start this bs and u made a big mistake iming me and talking rudely....
[16:01] Fifi: u have nothing else to do?
[16:02] Fifi: well anyways i am gonna go now and I'll make sure u will be punished for actions that u caused
[16:02] MonkeyLogo: This program is intended to be humorous, and if I've been insulting you during this conversation, I apologize; I'm not trying to. I am simply trying to explain that this is a bot just like (Link: http://www.microad.com/AngryAngryGabe/)http://www.microad.com/AngryAngryGabe/
[16:02] Fifi: SHUT THE FUCK UP thats what u used to pist the shit out of me and everyone k i know
[16:02] Fifi: stop sending the site that u used..
[16:03] Fifi: its YOU WHO FUCKIN DID IT
[16:03] Fifi: the link or site doesn't jump into ur fuckin sn u FUCKIN MORON
[16:03] Fifi: SHUT THE FUCK UP
[16:03] Fifi: and fuck off
[16:04] Fifi: I ALREADY KNOW THATS ITS YOU Suspect_ 1 Suspect_Last_Name & Suspect_ 2 Suspect_Last_Name SO I'LL MAKE SURE EITHER ONE OF U GUYS WILL GET THE CONSEQUNCES
[16:05] Fifi: SO FUCKIN LEAVE ME ALONE BE4 I FUCKIN COME TO UR ROOM AND HAVE A TALK WITH U

**I would like to have said, "Sure, some to my room. I am going to play dumb and pretend to have no idea what you're talking about, but don't let me get away with it" but I was warned up to 99% at this time, which prevented me from sending any more messages.**

Session Close (Fifi): Fri Feb 21 16:09:47 2003



I don't know who these people are. I have no idea who Supervisor is, or what the "consequences" will be. All I know is that I have no involvement in this and AOL probably won't care, because this is exactly why they have a BLOCK button. The person is right in that I do go to the same University (assuming Suspect_Last_Name is their last name and not an acronym for a University), but I don't know what KPAX is, let alone who is in it. I know someone named Suspect_ 1 merely because it is a common name, though I have never met a Suspect_ 2.

MonkeyLogo is an insult bot. Anyone who actually feels insulted can block the name from sending any more messages. If you keep talking, an incoming message generates an outgoing message which is almost always rude. The best way to avoid being insulted is to either stop replying, or block the screenname. There is no trick to this, the block button is clearly labelled. The worst thing to do if you get offended, is to keep talking to, buddy list, set alerts on, send the name to your friends, and then partake in future conversations with a program that does nothing but insult you. If you do any one of these, you're pretty much asking for it; these people did all of the above. Because of these people, I have changed the bot around to support a list of blocked screennames, and counter-warn & block.

Why do they go out of their way to be insulted by a computer program? I have no idea, but they've all got him on their buddy lists and told it to "Alert me when MonkeyLogo comes online".
These people are nuts.